Carole McKinney: Posted on Thursday, March 13, 2014 10:53 AM
What is healing?
We can’t erase events that have happened, un-hear words that were heard, and un-do physical damage that was done. Yet there are thousands of people who have experienced serious pain, loss, and regret, who are now living lives of joy and fulfillment. How do they do that?
From my own experience I would describe healing as freedom. Freedom from negative thoughts and feelings that plague me whenever I am reminded of past hurts. Freedom to enjoy the good parts of today, and the good people in my life. Freedom to be who God made me to be. The thing is, healing often involves forgiveness, and this is where we get hung up. Forgiveness threatens our sense of justice.
To be clear, forgiveness is not forgetting. It involves acknowledging our pain and anger, not covering it up. It is choosing how we will live with the consequences of another person’s sin. It is a choice we make, but it is also a process. Your therapist can help you with this process.
In his bestselling book The Bondage Breaker, Neil Anderson says, “If you don’t let offenders off your hook, you are hooked to them and the past, and that just means continued pain for you. Stop the pain; let it go. You don’t forgive someone merely for their sake; you do it for your sake so you can be free.” *
Today's blog was written Carole McKinney, Marriage and Family Therapist Registered Intern, IMF 71473. Carole is supervised by Kathryn Kirk, LMFT, MFC 44312
*Anderson, Neil T. The Bondage Breaker. Eugene: Harvest House Publishers, 1993. 195-96.